I FIND it fascinating that as human beings we plan for life and we plan for death but we typically don’t plan for aging or more specifically advanced aging. This is short sighted, because advanced aging is when you really do want to have a voice and there are many situations where you might not get one.
Having a plan before you need one means having a conversation before you need to. If you or your loved one wants to age at home; if they are saying they absolutely refuse to leave..ever! Why convince them otherwise? “Mom if you want to stay then let’s look at why people have to move so we can make plans to stay”.
So many people avoid or deny that life is becoming more challenging in their current situation. It’s almost like ‘I’m fine until I’m not fine’. Which for many means a hospital visit where a doctor tells you, your current home is no longer safe. To remain in the driver’s seat of this scenario is to have a Plan B and a Plan C. A contingency plan just in case staying home is no longer an option, you have a choice on where you go.
So essentially your Plan A is to age at home. That is pretty well everyone’s plan. The question though is, is ‘home’ definitively the family homestead or does ‘home’ represent being independent in the community which could be in an apartment or condo? Here are a few questions to consider:
1 – How many rooms do you live in?
Often when I meet seniors that are still living in the family home I find that they are living in only a few rooms but years of prize collections of ‘stuff’ live in the rest. The bigger the house the more is collected. Chances are there are things that have not seen the light of day in years.
2 – Do you want to stay because the thought of leaving is so overwhelming?
For some seniors downsizing from the family home is refreshing. The relief of carefree living is very much welcomed. Those seniors tend to be optimistic and proactive and ambitiously seek this type of relief. However, most find the physical, mental and emotional challenge of downsizing overwhelming which leads to a level of ambivalence. This is where the avoidance of change despite the benefit of moving could come from.
Being overcome at the thought of downsizing is two fold. The physical challenge of donating, selling, or disposing of all the ‘stuff’ is just too much and the benefit of moving does not seem great enough (to the senior) that a level of ambivalence sets in. In conversations, this might sound like ‘I will deal with it later’.
The other issue could be more emotional. For some, the thought of moving feels like they’re losing something; loss of independence, freedom, control. I’ve even met some seniors that did not feel worthy of moving, like they were being a burden.
Remember there are ALOT of stereotypes when it comes to seniors’ housing. Seniors remember way back when their grandparents or parents needed a senior’s residence. The difference is back then they were much more institutional. They were the place where the ‘old people live’. Today, they may not realize that they are much more hospitality orientated, customer service driven and many have a resort style feel to them. There are more options for both aging at home and seniors housing. The key is to always remain in the proverbial driver’s seat, and to plan in advance.
As a Plan B, go out and visit some retirement homes. Become educated on the options available as they can be all very different. You put this plan in place because should something happen to you then you already know where you want to go… if you had to. What we see often is those who avoid this subject all together and end up in hospital have decisions being made for them. Therefore get out early and look around.
Plan C is your ultimate contingency plan. No one wants to go to Long Term Care (LTC) but there may come a time where your body or mind require more care/support than your loved ones can manage at home. The kicker with LTC is that there are super long waiting lists. So it’s important to get on some waiting lists the moment you qualify. It does not cost anything and it does not mean that you have to accept your place when the call comes, BUT if you aren’t on a list and the time comes where you need LTC, the options available to you might not be the ones you would have selected for yourself if given the opportunity.
We welcome you to connect with us at any time to discuss your needs or those of your loved one. We can expand on the information shared here and offer strategies, information and support as you plan your own A, B, C options.
613-421-6073 and info@solvaseniorliving.ca